Treatment and beyond.......

Now, in no way, shape, or form am I blaming Cruella for my cocaine use. However, I was exceptionally pissed off that Cruella would use every once and every inch to work this mistake against me and more pissed off that she let the children suffer through my mistake. It was very hard for me to move forward knowing, experiencing, and having these feelings.

I worked through my job, worked through 2 drug treatment programs, paying for an exhorbant amount of child support, paying for drug treatment, and counseling. DAMN !!!! This was so difficult and so painful.

Prior to my marriage going bad, I was always a very laid back kind of person. I tried to take everything as it came and trusted almost everybody.

Now that I had experienced divorce, my views drastically changed. I finally saw Cruella for who and what she was and didn't trust woman as a whole for a looooong time. Even now, I look at women, and men, a lot differently than I used to. (Please accept my apologies to any women reading this as I know there are exceptions). Perhaps I was niave to people and what they could do. Today, I am exceptionally selective about whom I surround myself with.

After the drug treatment program and everything I survived until this point had made me a much stronger person. To give an idea, I considered on many occasions some drastic measures but these ideas would've only hurt the children, the ones I was trying to protect and love.

With my found strength and perserverance, I again focused on the children and waht was best for them. I had to attend a co-paretning class with Cruella and follow-up with co-parenting counseling. Of course, this didn't amount to a hill of beans because Cruella still was unwilling to be at all cooperative, flexible, or think of anything besides herself. The children were struggling with school. Cruella had no structure for their education. Cruella neglected the health of both children.

Cruella neglected Eeyore's dental health badly and physical health. He has had several temporary crowns by about 8 years old. He had a tooth that was approaching abscess and she did nothing. He was struggling with encopresis and a very poor diet while in her care. Eeyore had been bitten by Cruella's dog and this dog did not have any of his shots. Roo had not had the last of her shots but fortunately, her teeth were in good shape.

I had long began keeping notes on everything, everyday. I called the kids everyday and had done so since seperation. I missed and love my children that I could'nt let a day go by without talking to them. My persistance in keeping up with them and noting everything about their daily lives and the neglect Cruella offered, I felt would pay off.

Cruella was not going to change for anything or anybody. Everybody was supposed to be at disposal. Everybody was supposed to do what she wanted. I wasn't going to do this any longer. I was about the children and wwhat's best for them. I'll be damned if I'm going to simply sit back allow her or anybody to use, abuse, or neglect these precious children. Children aren't trophies to put on a wall and take down for occasional dusting. Children want to be loved. They want to have someone offer them comfort, security, adn reassurance. Children want and need parents that will be involved with them and teach them the right things to do.

A a note to Cruella's parenting, when I removed myself from the marital bedroom, she almost immediately had Eeyore sleeping in the bed with her and referring to him as her "little man".
After I left the marital home, she had him sleeping with her 4-5 times a week. I was alarmed by this behavior, expressed my concern, but was ignored all together. I approached my concerns with Eeyore's counselor whom in turn expressed concerns to Cruella. This had little impact. Cruella said it was perfectly natural for a boy at 6,7,8,9 years old to sleep with his mother.

This behavior was not conducted with Roo who is 2 1/2 years younger. As a matter of fact, before I left the marital home, Cruella and I had a fight over taking Roo out of her crib and putting her into a bed. Cruella was pissed off that I had taken the crib down and given Roo a bed. Roo was about 2 years old as I recollect but Cruella liked having Roo in one place without freedom of movement.

Prior to that, Cruella often liked to leave Roo in a high-chair with a solied diaper and go back to bed. I'll never forget finding Roo like this while Cruella was on the 2nd floor sleeping. Roo was also sleeping in her food.