In the blink of an eye I knew what I had been missing, what I needed, and what I wanted versus living the life of a father with a cold, distant wife. I was tired of being the bill payer, the single parent, the one to clean up after the kids, the one to clean up after the wife. I was tired of not feelings happy, content, wanted, loved, etc.
I never admitted the last affair nor the couple before but she had an idea. Despite having this idea, there still was not aceptance of her role in the failure. At this point, I didn't care. I wanted out. I was finished but I would not and did not simply walk out. I refused to do that for the children. Cruella was most upset with my convictions about the children. She threatened me, insulted me, berated me in fron t of the children, and even had one of friends just tell me to leave. I would not without some sort of seperation agreement and custody arranged. Cruella would not be at all flexible with this idea either. (Imagine that) I tried everything including preparing our own seperation agreement and custody arrangement. She wasn't willing.
As time went on, Cruella changed like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hype. Suddenly she was leaving the house dressed like a street walker, bathing in perfume, staying out all night at times, and sleeping with what men she could get.
The first man she became involved with, she brought to the marital home. He parked his truck in the driveway and spent the night on a couple of occasions. NOTE: Long before this point, I was sleeping on the sofa on the first floor versus sharing a bed with Cruella.
The second man she slept with was someone in the same office building that I work in. The 3rd man she slept with had previously paid for a night in a nice hotel in our city but couldn't make it at the last minute. He contacted Cruella suggesting she take one of her girlfriends and enjoy. Instead, Cruella took yet another man to spend the night with her in a hotel paid for by #3.
When Cruella was at home, she didn't do anything for the kids or with the kids. It was all left to me, as usual. She was medicating herself with sleeping pills and someone else's prescription medication. She would take every opportunity to bust my a** even bringing the fight to my office on a couple of occasions. She would through 2x4's at me, curse at me, follow me through the house just berating me more and it didn't matter that the children where witnessing this. There was no real way out except for court.
It took months for me to decide court was the only way to go otherwise my sanity and health were going to become increasingly compromised. My mental health was already taking a beating at dealing with a failed marriage, a wife that was just nasty, my desire for a smooth transition, my love for my children, and the desire to protect them through this.
None of that mattered to Cruella. She only wanted to hurt me: emotionally and physically. It felt as if she wanted to bury me. It became evident that she would use anything she could find to hurt me.
Knowing how venedictive she had become, I quit smoking pot knowning she would use this to cripple me in any way, shape, or form. With that out of the picture, I had some ground to work with. I was willing to workout shared pyhsical custody but wanted full custody. Cruella wanted me to be only a weekend warrior dad, pay huge amounts in child support, and shut the hell up.
Well, by now Cruella had the clear idea that the marriage was over but didn't want to accept any responsibility for this failure. By her admission, it was all my fault, not hers and I was reminded of this like a torrential rain.
Cruella had the notion prior to our first visit to court to begin rotating weekend visitation with the kids while we lived together. This was a little odd but was willing to go with the flow to keep the peace as much as possible until we could find some finality.
During one of my weekends with the children, we went to spend the weekend with my sister. During this particular weekend, Cruella had the local police department come to the home to do a search for pot. The police came, brought drug sniffing dogs, and found only a pipe. Shortly after my return to the home, I found an over-the-counter cocaine test with positive results hidden in a crawl space of the house. Somehow she managed to obtain this positive cocaine test.
So many things became evident at the end. I also learned that Cruella had been given a 20K bonus several months before, unknown to me, and she had spent every penyy of it while I continued to pay the mortgage and utulities. To this day I have no idea how someone could spend 20K and have nothing to show for it. Further, I could only imagine how many other work bonuses she had received and didn't bother to tell me about it.
After finding out about this bonus, there was a problem in our home with the electric bill. I had specifically asked her to pay it. It was now $1000 and we were now into the 3rd month of it not being paid. I confronted her because of a fear that the electricity would be cutoff. I confronted her on a Friday evening about 6:30 while she was in bed and almost unresponsive. She was obviously heavily medicated and I didn't now from what and didn't care. She said she would get the money from her parents to pay part of the bill.
Cruella has lied to her parents, friends, and other family memebers about the course of events. This was not the first as I was learning at this point in time. To this day, I don't think Cruella has it in her to be completely honest about anything if there's any consideration that it would tainted her f*cked up imagine of having that big house with the white picket fence.
Time continues to move forward and her true colors are becoming more evident. I become some-what hard on myself for not seeing a lot of this but she has done well to keep it hidden.
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